Sorry

Okay, so I've been going over past blog entries and realized I'm repeating myself. Sorry. And I've lost 1/2 inch, not two inches (Wouldn't that be awesome?)

Hmmm...

Am I untalented or just unlucky?

The last show I was in was Joseph, and just about everybody who auditioned got into that. That was last summer, almost a year ago. I just got back from auditions for Desdemona/Juliet, and I think I did the best I could, but I didn't get in. Granted, there was some pretty stiff competition, but it's still hard to see that I'm not getting any roles. I have done some great parts, though, and I have to remember that. Joseph was great fun. I was honored to play Alice in Flowers. Miss Havisham was a stretch and also very fun. Those are some roles in recent memory. But I feel like these are roles I got when there wasn't much competition. When there is more competition, I don't get it.

I have been asked to audition twice, and both times I got the role. That's a nice feeling. It's also good to see that the person who gets the role I wanted is deserving of it. I don't know who got Constance, but the woman who got Desdemona had a very good audition.

I have had the honor to play some great roles. Alice in Flowers, Miss Havisham, Lady Macbeth, Beatrice. I got to play Satan in college--that was really fun. I was jumping on desks, flipping people upside down, waltzing with embarrassed audience members--great juicy stuff. I played Mercutio in an English class. I was Maggie and Jesse ('night Mother) in a class I took out West. My teacher said I played Jesse better than anyone else she'd ever seen.

I've just had a dry spell. I love being in shows. I guess that goes without saying. Writing a recommendation letter for me, a professor said, "Sarah loves to write but she is in love with acting." Perfectly put. (This man was my mentor and a great playwright himself.) The director of our little Shakespeare company wrote me a letter too, in which he says I came the closest to breaking the "everyone's replaceable" rule. I need to remember these things to help me deal with the rejection.

So there's always the next show. Into the Woods auditions are coming up next. I'm working with a friend on musical numbers. She's introduced me to a writer who writes musical-style songs that don't come from musicals themselves. This means that no one will do the song and the directors will not have heard the song. She thinks I should go for Cinderella. I can see myself doing something small, like one of the stepsisters. That would be fine. I would take anything!

I've come to a rather disconcerting realization with Checking Out. I think some of the first act revelations should come in the second act. So that's going to take some MAJOR adjusting. Like a complete script overhaul. Maybe the first act will be shorter than I originally planned and the second act will be longer. I've still got the problem about my main character. He just isn't in enough of the show. So I have two problems: rounding out the second act and giving him more of a central part. Oh, and solving the problem of the characters just sitting around talking. So that's three.

This past Sunday was Music Sunday at church. It was beautiful. We sang some great stuff and I got to be liturgist. I love singing in church. To me it's a wonderful way of expressing and feeling God's love. Sometimes words alone cannot convey the feelings a union with God gives, and that spills over into the spirit of music. Many songs and hymns come from the spirit of God's inspiration.

I have to use these times to remind me that there is more to life than acting. There are things that don't have to do with rejection. Inspiration, whether it be for writing or singing, comes unconditionally and regardless of who you are. The author may not always achieve her dream of creating, but at least it's an act where you are your own judge. I know when something is good, and I don't need a director to tell me. Singing in church is a little different, since it's a little more like a performance. But I am comfortable within the Spirit and feel led by that Hand. Our choir director is there to guide us, and we are not judged by the congregation. In fact, we have no end of positive feedback from the congregation. Sometimes they even clap, which you're not supposed to do in church.

Tomorrow I meet with Stephanie. I have lost two pounds and, more importantly, have lost 1/2 inch on my hips, upper thighs, and lower thighs. Yay! I am able to fit in the "B" nylons again and don't need the "Q" size. Wearing those is pretty demoralizing.

Well, I'm yawning and I want to get up early tomorrow. Hanging up now...

Some good news....

I got a new phone! I am now with Centennial, which costs much less than my landline. I cancelled my landline and got to keep my Internet with AT & T. My new phone has text messaging, caller ID, and voice mail. I love it. The other good news is that I have written a little more of Checking Out. There are some good lines and some comedic lines. It isn't much, but it's better than the dry spell I was experiencing. I think I have discovered my problem. Some of the first act conversations should probably occur during the second act. So I may have to do some moving around. That may solve my problem. Something to work on in the second draft.

Good news, not so good news...

The not so good news first: I still haven't written any more of Checking Out. It's really beginning to bother me. I would hate to have a started project that languishes in limbo. I have been able to finish the other plays I have written, even the crappy ones. I think so far CO is one of the best things I've written, and it's the only thing I've written in a long time (school kind of pushes out writing anything other than papers.) I've created some great characters and funny situations. I need to let them talk.

So there are two good things for me to report. First of all, the small one, is that I've lost two pounds in the last week. I chalk this up fully to the fact that I've changed my workout routine. I was doing mainly classes (cardio) and not enough weights on my own. Now I'm doing my own weight training and it's been really good for my body. I'm trying to work out with weights on the "off days," days I don't have class. My measurements are down too. My hips, upper thighs, and lower thighs are all 2" less than they were when we last did measurements (about 6 weeks ago.)

And the most exiting thing...I am going to two interviews! One of them is for an insurance company that deals with seniors. The other one, the one I'm really excited about, is the admissions counselor position. I applied for this a long time ago and had given up hearing back. I got a call yesterday (who calls on a Saturday??) from Jane Rohrback wanting to set up an interview. I was in the shower when she called, called her back, and got her voicemail. I'm hoping to hear from her tomorrow.

Something else that is nice...I got a new cell phone! This is not a big deal for some but it is a good thing for me. I am really in the dark ages when it comes to cell phones. Now I can call and text and take pictures (something I've been doing a lot since I got the phone.) I can also send pictures. I sent my friend Adam a picture of Spot so he knows what she looks like now.

Mother's Day was today and I called my mom (on my new phone of course.) I also made her a card but it probably won't get there until tomorrow. I like to make cards for people--the old fashioned way, with pen and paper. I'm not quite up to speed on making them on the computer.

Radio Talking Book has been going okay, not great. I'm still tripping up a lot. I get nervous even though I've had so much experience with cold reading. And the timing isn't right yet--we take station breaks at the top of every hour and I haven't been timing that right. Both times I had to do it I went over. I got some tips from friends on how to help myself, and my mom was really supportive.

I've been taking voice lessons with a kareoke friend, Kelly, to get some songs in my repertoire for musical auditions. We have been working on one called "One Moment" which is really beautiful. It's not actually from any musical, just written by a guy who writes musical-type songs. If I don't get into Desdemona/Juliet, I will use this to try out for Into the Woods. Kelly thinks I should go for Cinderella. I don't think I really have the voice for it but I will try. Maybe I'll end up being a stepsister. The only bad thing about taking lessons with Kelly is that she will be going away to school in the fall, so I'll have to find someone new. I don't want to! She's good.

Hanging up now....