Jeanne has been talking about fasting as not from something material, but a feeling or a habit. We had a short program Ash Wednesday about letting go of fear. There are certainly some practical fears, but then there are the fears that keep us from knowing each other and from having faith. So I have decided to not worry about the fried food and concentrate on giving up self-pity. There are a lot of things weighing me down, like an absence of work or a partner, but I need to stay out of that cycle that doesn't do me any good.
Stephanie has moved to the MAC from the Y. I am still able to train with her. She remarked today that my stomach was shrinking. We also weighed me and I weigh 155 according to the scale there. My goal is to be at 150 by Easter. That means 5 lbs in 6 weeks. I can do that.
I have been watching the Olympics every night on NBC. I love the Winter Olympics. I love the aerial ski jump, the snowboarding, the slalom, and the short track. I am a little miffed that Apolo Ohno hasn't won gold yet. He needs to step up his game to continue being my favorite.
Interesting dreams continue...Lansing is setting up a roller derby league and some of my FB friends are excited about it. I dreamt about it last night--not sure if I was in it or watching it or what. I also had a dream that I was Lady Macbeth to Brad Rutledge's Macbeth (apologies to Kelly Gmazel.)In a related theater dream, Laurie Domino was helping to change the set but she was a little crazy and set the tablecloth on fire. I had eaten nearly a whole sleeve of Girl Scout cookies and that probably had something to do with it.
We are having a lot of snow...I want to just bundle up with a good cup of tea and watch figure skaters. Should be a nice relaxing night.
Hanging up now....
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Hop aboard the sleepytime express....
The past two nights have been full of interesting dreams. I wanted them, so I invited them by reading some of Gordy's dream notes. Two nights ago,I visited my dream city (which I'm debating calling San Orleans, given that it has characteristics of San Francisco and New Orleans.) I had an apartment similar to my studio in SF, with hardwood floors and big windows. The difference was that there was a bedroom in the front of the apartment that you had to walk through to get to the main room. This is the first apartment I have ever had in New Francisco (I like that better),and it was on Sutter Street (the street I lived on IRL). I went to the nightclub down the block. Instead of the Middle Eastern market, there was a coffeehouse on the other side of the club. In the club, the lights were very bright and there was a hardwood stage on one side. The club had morphed into an audition run by Bill and Lee Helder. I worried about my footwear--I wore boots with high heels and pointy toes, not exactly good shoes for an audition.
(I should make it clear that all these places--the nightclub, the market, the coffeehouse--are part of my dream city, not real life places. I have visited them before and I will again. I'm looking forward to visiting the coffeehouse next time. There'a another coffeehouse across town, but they make sandwiches and other stuff--it doesn't look like this one does anything but coffee.)
The next dream was about cats. There was a kitten very much like my cat Dante when he was a kitten. The other cats were all black and white longhairs (Maine Coons, perhaps?) I was trying to keep them separated so they wouldn't fight. I would put two outside and keep two inside, and then switch them. I finally let them all inside and let them fight it out, because the weather was getting bad.
I will write more about my dreams from that night and last night also, but I need to start getting ready for my lesson with Dami--we are working at 2 rather than 4. Hanging up now....
(I should make it clear that all these places--the nightclub, the market, the coffeehouse--are part of my dream city, not real life places. I have visited them before and I will again. I'm looking forward to visiting the coffeehouse next time. There'a another coffeehouse across town, but they make sandwiches and other stuff--it doesn't look like this one does anything but coffee.)
The next dream was about cats. There was a kitten very much like my cat Dante when he was a kitten. The other cats were all black and white longhairs (Maine Coons, perhaps?) I was trying to keep them separated so they wouldn't fight. I would put two outside and keep two inside, and then switch them. I finally let them all inside and let them fight it out, because the weather was getting bad.
I will write more about my dreams from that night and last night also, but I need to start getting ready for my lesson with Dami--we are working at 2 rather than 4. Hanging up now....
Monday, February 8, 2010
As V-Day approaches...
As I can see by looking at my new phone, today is Monday, February 8. That means six days til Valentines Day. And once again, I don't have a Valentine. I don't feel so bad about it, really. I have lots of other stuff in my life. I am able to keep things in perspective and know that just because I'm romantically alone, I'm not alone inside myself. I have a rich inner life and good friends and family. My work with Dami and my work on my body have kept me busy. I will welcome someone into my life when the time comes.
We're supposed to get snow tonight. I haven't seen any evidence of it. Tomorrow maybe. I have glass doors looking out over the woods in the back of my apartment and every day I come out into the living room hoping to see snow. Now is the time for it, not mid-March.
I started this blog just about a year ago. I remember talking about Ash Wednesday. It's coming up soon. I am giving up fried food this year. It will really be hard to give up fried chicken. I don't eat a lot of KFC or anything, but a lot of the chicken I eat is fried, from the DD chicken parmesan flatbread to the tempura at Sushi Blue. I guess the fewer times I eat out the more likely I will be able to keep to this "fast."
Last year, oh dear...I think I resolved to get out of bed and get to church. I didn't do very well there. I really wanted to go this Sunday because the choir was singing a beautiful anthem and my friend Tom was doing the sermon. Well, Jeanne will be back next Sunday and I will hopefully see her then.
The weight loss is coming along OK. I have still been weighing myself too much. The lowest I weighed last week was 153, but today the scale said 158. I'm trying to be optimistic. I've had a few days of bad eating but if I stick to a better diet for the next week or so I should be in good shape. I wanted to get down to 150 by V-day but I think it'll be more like 152 at best. Oh well. Maybe 145 by St. Patrick's Day?
I've decided 145 is my goal rather than 140. I think with the muscle I've gained it would be really hard to get to 140, and I would be setting myself up for disappointment if I thought I should do that. I think I would look and feel really good at 145. I look at myself now and am very satisfied. I have started wearing some workout clothes that I haven't worn in years because I've been embarrassed to, but now I feel great in them. If I feel this good now, imagine how I'll feel at 145!
I have stopped giving Spot her pill. She got sick again and my vet said to leave it alone. I am still "Dawning her chin," as Mom puts it. She gets to have her chin wiped with a washcloth with Dawn on it every day. She LOVES that, of course. I've been able to catch her and do it every day. She doesn't understand that it's good for her or that it doesn't hurt; all she knows is that she's being manhandled. And she doesn't like that. But she's a good girl.
Last night was the Super Bowl and what a game! I was happy that the Saints won. Margaret and Doug live in NO so I was rooting for them because of that. This is going to be quite a week in NO--first the Super Bowl win and then Mardi Gras.
Mmm, packzi! I like packzi better than king cake because you can have only one packzi but you have to order a whole king cake. And king cake isn't really all that great--I mean, it basically tastes like coffee cake. I did enjoy it with chickory coffee when I was down there visiting for Mardi Gras one year.
I have been having really bad headaches lately. I wonder how you can tell if they're migranes or not. I've never had migraines before, so I have no idea how to tell what they are like. How do you diagnose something like that? I'll have to ask my doctor.
My New Year's resolution was to be the best teacher I can be. I feel like it's hard to do that with Dami because her mom is really the one structuring our time. I would like to be able to write my own lessons, but she is the one pulling the strings. I do get to work on the vocabulary lessons, and now the mom wants grammar too, so I can do that on my own. But she determines the bulk of the lesson. I think I did pick a good book in Paint the Wind, so that is another part of the lesson that is personal.
Well, that's all I have to write now. I feel like a lot of it is trite but it's what's going on. Perhaps I'll be deeper soon.
Hanging up now....
We're supposed to get snow tonight. I haven't seen any evidence of it. Tomorrow maybe. I have glass doors looking out over the woods in the back of my apartment and every day I come out into the living room hoping to see snow. Now is the time for it, not mid-March.
I started this blog just about a year ago. I remember talking about Ash Wednesday. It's coming up soon. I am giving up fried food this year. It will really be hard to give up fried chicken. I don't eat a lot of KFC or anything, but a lot of the chicken I eat is fried, from the DD chicken parmesan flatbread to the tempura at Sushi Blue. I guess the fewer times I eat out the more likely I will be able to keep to this "fast."
Last year, oh dear...I think I resolved to get out of bed and get to church. I didn't do very well there. I really wanted to go this Sunday because the choir was singing a beautiful anthem and my friend Tom was doing the sermon. Well, Jeanne will be back next Sunday and I will hopefully see her then.
The weight loss is coming along OK. I have still been weighing myself too much. The lowest I weighed last week was 153, but today the scale said 158. I'm trying to be optimistic. I've had a few days of bad eating but if I stick to a better diet for the next week or so I should be in good shape. I wanted to get down to 150 by V-day but I think it'll be more like 152 at best. Oh well. Maybe 145 by St. Patrick's Day?
I've decided 145 is my goal rather than 140. I think with the muscle I've gained it would be really hard to get to 140, and I would be setting myself up for disappointment if I thought I should do that. I think I would look and feel really good at 145. I look at myself now and am very satisfied. I have started wearing some workout clothes that I haven't worn in years because I've been embarrassed to, but now I feel great in them. If I feel this good now, imagine how I'll feel at 145!
I have stopped giving Spot her pill. She got sick again and my vet said to leave it alone. I am still "Dawning her chin," as Mom puts it. She gets to have her chin wiped with a washcloth with Dawn on it every day. She LOVES that, of course. I've been able to catch her and do it every day. She doesn't understand that it's good for her or that it doesn't hurt; all she knows is that she's being manhandled. And she doesn't like that. But she's a good girl.
Last night was the Super Bowl and what a game! I was happy that the Saints won. Margaret and Doug live in NO so I was rooting for them because of that. This is going to be quite a week in NO--first the Super Bowl win and then Mardi Gras.
Mmm, packzi! I like packzi better than king cake because you can have only one packzi but you have to order a whole king cake. And king cake isn't really all that great--I mean, it basically tastes like coffee cake. I did enjoy it with chickory coffee when I was down there visiting for Mardi Gras one year.
I have been having really bad headaches lately. I wonder how you can tell if they're migranes or not. I've never had migraines before, so I have no idea how to tell what they are like. How do you diagnose something like that? I'll have to ask my doctor.
My New Year's resolution was to be the best teacher I can be. I feel like it's hard to do that with Dami because her mom is really the one structuring our time. I would like to be able to write my own lessons, but she is the one pulling the strings. I do get to work on the vocabulary lessons, and now the mom wants grammar too, so I can do that on my own. But she determines the bulk of the lesson. I think I did pick a good book in Paint the Wind, so that is another part of the lesson that is personal.
Well, that's all I have to write now. I feel like a lot of it is trite but it's what's going on. Perhaps I'll be deeper soon.
Hanging up now....
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