Better...

We worked through Act II tonight and it went well. Kendall, the actor playing the prosecting attorney, did VERY well. He has most of his lines down and has made some great character choices. My part with Nelson was still rough but it's getting better. I think it will turn out OK.

Worked with Dami today. She was able to do all her reading homework, so I gave her a slightly heavier load for next week. She did pretty well on the lessons. I felt I was able to do some real teaching with her rather than just going through the answers. We went over her vocabulary flash cards and she has remembered a lot. It's good to see she's retaining knowledge.

Worked out with Stephanie today. I gained another pound and my body fat % has stayed the same. I asked her if it had to do with walking rather than doing the elliptical and she said it did. Walking burns about 100 cal/mi, whereas elliptical burns 200 in 20 minutes. She recommended that if I wanted to be outside I should run as well as walking. I can do that. If the weather is nice tomorrow (and it's supposed to be), I will do a run/walk.

I want to start going to bed earlier, so I'll say goodnight.

Hanging up now...

Oh, boy....

Things are getting down to the wire. We ran Act I today and we are all having serious problems. The lines just aren't coming. I find it very hard to focus. This is definitely the hardest role I've ever done. I hope I can handle it. I had some good moments but there were a lot of rough spots. Mike said I was fine but I don't feel very confident. Tomorrow Julie and I are working and then it's Act II tomorrow night.

That's all for now; I have a big day tomorrow.

Hanging up now...

Made it!

We made it through the first night off book! It went pretty well. Mike actually did a "happy dance" when we were done. He didn't have any notes for me on my monologue. He pointed out several things he liked about it. He also told me he likes where I am going with Sheffield. It's a great feeling to know I'm doing the part justice.

I ate way too much today. I had a piece of quiche for lunch, which wasn't bad, but then I had a muffin on top of that. I ate all my dinner instead of splitting it in half. But worst of all, I had a beef and cheddar sandwich from Arby's after rehearsal. Ouch! I am weighing in at the MAC again tomorrow and I'm afraid I won't have gone down, or even maybe I have gone up! I haven't been working out as hard as I probably should. I didn't get to Interval this week, although I did get to Strength and Stretch.

Didn't get to sleep right away last night, but I woke up all right. I would like to start getting up when I wake up, which is actually quite early. But I usually end up sleeping in and then it is harder to wake up afterwards.

Well, I need to get off and get to bed so I can get up again tomorrow. I need to have a lot of power for my workout with Stephanie and rehearsal later on. So for now I'll say...

Hanging up now....

AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are off book tomorrow night! I don't feel like I'm ready. I worked with Derek and Julie today and I'm good on some parts but I also have some big gaps. Julie and I went over my monologues and I'm about 85% there. It just sucks that tomorrow night is Act II, my weak act. It doesn't seem like we've run it as much as we should have.

I was nervous tonight because Oralya (playwright) was there. I want to make Sheffield as good as possible--I am the first Sheffield, after all. I know it was hard for me to see my work done. The actors were perfect, it was just hard for me to see it realized. Wonderful in a way, but scary too.

Took a nice walk today--the weather was great. I wanted to go to Meijer but I wasn't sure how long that would take me. It is 4 miles round trip. I can walk 3.5 miles an hour at the gym, but if I wasn't on a treadmill it would probably be more like 3 mi./hr. So that would take me a little over an hour. I want to do it some day when I have more time. Maybe this weekend.

I work with Dami tomorrow. We are working in her reading workbook. I give her about 7 pages to work on every week. Some lessons are almost like science or history lessons--she has to read a passage and answer questions about it. As I said, it is for gifted 6th graders. It's a little hard for her and we often end up doing the work during our lesson. So we are making slow progress. We finished "Paint the Wind" and I teared up at the end. She really liked it but thought the ending was kind of sad. I told her that I saw it two ways, and that in a way it was really a happy ending. We are going to read a Dear Dumb Diary book until she leaves. She's leaving in June! That's really soon.

I finished my book and am moving on to a new one. I have a whole stack I want to get through. They're all books from the bookstore, so they won't sit on my shelf forever after I've read them. Occasionally I'll purge my bookcases and give Mom a bunch of books to sell in the sidewalk sale. It's a good way of recycling and reusing.

I have an early a.m. eye appointment so for now I'll say...

Hanging up now....

Bird by bird...

Met with Derek O. today at Gone Wired. He plays Nelson, and we went over our scene twice. I felt a little better about it. Then I went home and worked through the whole play on my own. I think I have about 85% of it. I'm going to work it again tomorrow and then D. and I are working with Julie H., again at Gone Wired. It seems to be the place for running lines--Adam and I met there for Flowers too.

A writer who came to MSU talked about her brother who had to do a report on a variety of birds. He was overwhelmed until his father told him to take it "bird by bird." I say this to myself as I work on the play--work on each piece and concentrate on what's in front of me.

Sleeping has been better. Since I'm not working, I often sleep in and go to bed late. This is probably not the best thing for my sleep cycle. I need to get up earlier and go to bed at a regular time. Tomorrow is Sunday but I'm not planning on going to church. I am working on lines instead.

I HAVE gained weight. I weighed in at the MAC at 155. Today on the gym scale I weighed 154, though, a loss of one pound since Tuesday. I would like to be 153 by next Wednesday. My measurements are all down, however, and my fat % is down also. Stephanie said, "If it's any consolation, you LOOK skinnier than two weeks ago." I just want to be 145! I know it's a random number. But it seems like such a nice number.

Got a bite from a guy on POF. He is funny and smart. I contacted him months ago and had forgotten about him. We'll see where that goes. He lives in Ann Arbor, a fun little town. I remember it from when I went to UM there.

Gonna sign off for now; I want to be fresh for working on lines tomorrow. See ya!

Hanging up now....

Not shoutin' or sleepin'

How do you yell quietly? That was my challenge today as I worked with Tim C. (Ruby) at Gone Wired today. Our scene is very intense but we had to keep it conversation-level. We were able to keep up the energy, I thought. We ran through it twice, the second time much faster than the first. It is my favorite part of the show and I think it will be really interesting to the audience.

I've been having trouble sleeping the past couple of nights. Not really sure why. I'm not thinking about anything in particular; I just don't sleep. I've had my Tazo tea with milk so that should help.

I didn't get to my composition today. But I have been doing some thinking about how I want it to sound. I am a sucker for tenors and they will be starting it out. The piece will be a cappella. I will try to figure out the note values on my own. This is the hardest part for me; I have a hard time figuring out how to write the length of a note. Most of my work is just written in whole notes, sketching out the melody. It would be impossible for anyone reading it to make sense of it. But I can read note values so I should be able to write them. Right?

Well, I feel as if I could slip off to sleep, so I'm--

Hanging up now....

Good! Friday

Good rehearsal last night. We ran the scene with Nelson, the defendant. I think this is the hardest part for me. My lines are basically in response to Nelson, which doesn't sound so bad, but a lot of them are lines like "Then what happened?" "So you went home." "What did he tell you?" and so forth. I think it's almost easier to memorize a monologue than to memorize a scene like this. I'm hoping it will happen organically, with the lines naturally arising from the nature of the scene.

We also tried on costumes last night. I have the suit I'm wearing (although the pants need to be taken in, yay!) but I needed a top. The first one that I tried on worked. However, it was see-through and I happened to be wearing my leopard-print bra. So everybody got a free show. Hooray. I will definitely be wearing a beige bra for the show. I also have an awesome pair of shoes from the costume shop. They are so perfect for Kathryn. I am working in them now so I will be used to them by production week.

I'm afraid I may have gained weight since my last weigh in. The scale at the gym says 152. I want to be at the most 150 on the MAC scale. We have set the goal of me reaching 145 (my goal weight) by Memorial Day. I hope I can do that and not go back. It's so easy to creep back up. I made the mistake of buying blue corn chips and dip for the MSU-Butler game. I have been eating those since then. I haven't for the past few nights though. However, I have eaten on nights I've gone out.

Sometimes I dream music and forget it when I wake up. Other times I have remembered and this leads to a song or even a whole musical. Two nights ago, I dreamt a line of music for a choral piece. It was "Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands." This is from the e.e. cummings' poem "somewhere i have never traveled." I want to set the text to music in a choral arrangement. Too bad my choir is sacred...I need a secular chorus for this. Who might do it?

It's frustrating to be so prolific and not get my work done. I have to look at the reality though. The fact is, one of my plays IS getting a staged reading, and that is very exciting. Just being in the office at Riverwalk and hearing people talk about it was thrilling. Also, LCP accepts original scripts and I am thinking of submitting Checking Out to them, after I revise it this summer. So my stuff IS getting done. Torchlight, the theater I was a part of in Indiana, did another one of my plays. And an earlier version of the staged reading play was done at Michigan. I need to remember that I actually have had more done than many people.

A bath sounds really good right now, so I'll say...

Hanging up now....

Past, present, future

Had another good rehearsal last night. We worked what I think is one of the most dramatic parts of the show. It's when I cross-examine the "victim," Sean Ruby. It gets very intense. Mike had us do it way over the top as an exercise, and he said it was actually what he wanted. He said we could even do more.

I am struck by how much talent and experience is represented in this cast and crew. From the newest to the most seasoned, we have a really tight show. I think we will have a great theatrical experience for the audience. Mike thinks the first act will last about 1 or 1:10 hrs, and the second act will be more like 45 min. That's not bad. I think a play should last no more than 1 hr per act (for a two-act play,) but maybe if we keep the energy up it will work okay. It's hard to make a courtroom drama like this engaging, because it can get static. It will be up to us to make it exciting.

Something very exciting--I have gotten back in touch with a friend from San Francisco! She is very sweet and a great friend. We have fallen in and out of touch, but I think this time we're in for good. Talking with her brought back some of the best memories of SF. I didn't have a great experience with that town, but there were good points. I mentioned OCC and it made me think how wonderful my church in SF was. It was the first church at which I was a member. The leaders had a very loose interpretation of the Bible. I read the Bible through at this point. I need to do that again. I think I skimmed a lot. It is very long, after all! There is a class at OCC, Disciple, where you read through the whole thing. I'd like to do that now that I am out of school.

I missed working out with Stephanie this week because we moved our time and I forgot. So I need to go today on my own. I was going to do Interval but I decided to sleep in. I'm going to head out here in a while, so for now I'll say--

Hanging up now....

She speaks!

Yesterday went great! I was able to sing despite the cold that has been plaguing me the past few days. We were well received by the congregation. Jeanne gave a great talk about "Changing the Ending." As usual, she started with a current event--a publishing house that is allowing teachers to tailor textbooks to their classes (a scary prospect given the recent decisions reached by the Texas school board) and expanded it to the Biblical realm. She said Pilate, the priests, and Judas were all trying to "change the ending" when they betrayed and persecuted Jesus. But the "end" was really a new beginning. She asked us if we had endings in our lives and pressed us to consider that these were really new beginnings. I felt at home yesterday. I guess it all worked out. I still have to deal with the rationality versus faith, but on days like yesterday, it almost doesn't matter. The Resurrection may be a symbol or a reality, but one thing is certain: it is a sign to us that there is always hope and everything is a cycle.

I feel I am at a stage of beginning with Uncommon Good. Got back from rehearsal just a while ago. It was short but it went well. We worked on my closing argument and I got some good direction. I like working with Mike. He's into exploring the characters and trying new things, and when he wants something definite, he is able to articulate it and make it clear to me what to do. Kendall (Whitmore, prosecuting attorney) is getting back in a week and we will have him at rehearsals starting next Tuesday. That will make things smoother.

Brunch with Adam was fun yesterday. I really enjoy our relationship. I am a Dog and therefore fiercely loyal to my friends. I would take a bullet for him.

I think a bath sounds excellent right now, so I'll say--

Hanging up now....

Easter

Tomorrow is Easter. I tried to go through the music today but I can hardly sing. I'm going to gargle with salt water as much as possible and get a good night's sleep. I am really excited about tomorrow. The music is going to be beautiful. After the service, Mom and Dad and I are going to meet Adam for lunch. It will be a good time for togetherness and fellowship.

Speaking of church, I'm still struggling with my faith. I go back and forth between believing and thinking rationally. It's not rational to believe a young woman can give birth without being impregnated by a human, or that someone can come back to life after being dead for three days. Yet there have been times when I have believed these things. I can say that Jesus provided us a wonderful example of how to live, and his life was a testament to something bigger and better than the individual.

But there are times when I am untouched. Last Sunday (Palm Sunday) I just sat in the choir loft and thought how it was all just such a show. I just wasn't moved by the sermon or the music or anything. There have been times when I've felt right at home, but I didn't feel that last Sunday. I hope I do tomorrow.

I want to take a bath before an early bedtime, so I'll say Happy Easter and

Hanging up now.....

First week down

Oops! I don't think this is Mike's first time directing. He is a lot more experienced than I realized. He has been doing sets and acting for a long time, and I know he's directed before based on some of the things he's said. I'll have to sit down with him sometime and pick his brain on his experience and advice he could give me.

The first week of rehearsals went well. He has pretty much let me block myself except for a few instrumental moments. He is more concerned with character work, which is great. He also wants us to work on how the character moves, talks, etc. to make it different from the way we do these things naturally. He's broken down the play into French scenes which means people don't have to sit at rehearsals and wait for their time to go on. Really good use of people's time.

My voice is hanging in there. It was bad this afternoon for the Good Friday service but it's okay now. I just need it to be there Sunday. I've been going out the past couple of nights and I probably shouldn't go out tonight. But I probably will. I just like to spend time with my friends! This ickiness shouldn't slow me down.

Speaking of friends, Adam and I are going to a show tonight and we're meeting for dinner beforehand, so I should go get ready.

Hanging up now...