Evening ruminations

Shawn sent me a text today saying I was beautiful. He has written me poems, called me beautiful, and other things. It's an amazing feeling to be wooed. It hasn't happened for a long time. We are seeing each other in three days. I am not looking forward to the drive to and from Ann Arbor. I have to turn around and drive to Kalamazoo the next day. That's a lot of hours on the road. Adam is going to PA Friday and that's a long drive too. He won't be at kareoke tomorrow so he can be fresh for the drive.

We had ice cream at Tasty Twist tonight. Bad! Last night I had an Italian sub from Cottage Inn, and that was my night snack, not dinner. Superbad! I will not be surprised if I've put on weight this week. However, I did get to Interval this Monday and walked four miles yesterday. Today I did the weight routine Stephanie gave me. I'm feeling really good physically, and I feel I look good too. So I guess that's what counts.

Picked up my picture for the church directory (we get one free 8 x 10.) It looked good, so I decided to make it a headshot. I went to Kinko's and scanned it onto a disk and made six copies. This way I can send it electronically or hand it in when I go to auditions. No more do I have the excuse of not having a headshot to not go to auditions. Hope this isn't illegal! This was given to me freely because of an agreement between the church and the photographer, and the photographer didn't charge me for any services. So I don't think it's a problem.

Weather still very summery. I think it was in the 80s today. I stayed inside most of the day. I like my apartment because it never gets very hot or very cold. I did run the air a little bit today and I run it at night, but it gets too cold to run it all day. Sometimes it wakes me up in the early morning because it's so cold. But I usually just end up burrowing under the covers rather than turning it off. Wasting energy, I know...

And speaking of covers...I want to get under them. So I think I will.

Hanging up now...

What faith can do

Just finished watching a video posted by a friend on FB: "What Faith Can Do" by Kutless. It's a Christian rock song that's uplifting and yet does not mention the name of God or Jesus ever; for this reason I think it would be a great "crossover" song. It's just about going on "even when the sky is falling" and believing that there is Someone there to catch you when you fall.

I wanted to write about this because I've been struggling a lot with my own faith lately and I think a lot of it has to do with my church. It's just too traditional for me. I don't really know my fellow parishioners that well, and I feel that they as a whole are a lot more conservative than I would like them to be. Jeanne seems to be much more progressive than the church as a whole, and I wonder how that will play out. As I said about the Palm Sunday service, sometimes I feel the format is too regimented and I just don't feel anything.

At the same time, I think I still believe in God and the sanctity of Jesus. I still pray every night. I just feel the need to express myself in other ways than going to church. I have thought about going to a church like Trinity but it's not for me. Although they are less traditional in format, they are still pretty conservative. I have been to a couple services with Heidi and have seen enough to know that. One service talked about how a great gulf separated us from God and that Jesus was the only way to bridge that gap. I, on the other hand, don't see that we need Jesus to reach God. There are many paths to God, and I believe "unbelievers" can ultimately find a connection to God too. Doing the right thing, whatever that may be, brings us close to God.

Which brings me to another, related problem...many Christians believe in putting God first in our lives. That makes sense. But I know I don't do that. I care most about people; I am fiercely loyal to my family and friends. Secondarily, I care about my art--acting and writing. I know I do these for myself, not for God's glory. But then again...maybe seeking happiness in my life and for others is a way to make God happy. After all, I've heard that talent is God's gift to you and how you use it is your gift to God.

I get to see Shawn in 5 days! He just texted me to say he buzzed his hair :( I guess this is something he does for summer. It probably won't look that bad. I'm feeling rather summery myself; I laid out by the pool today and my skin is a little warm and sun-kissed. No burn though. I used SPF 15 and 30 on my face, and I was out there in the late afternoon. I don't want to tan too much, but a little color would be nice.

Adam just texted me saying he auditioned for Othello. I didn't want to audition because I need a light show without tons of lines. None of the parts in SB are very big--it's pretty much an ensemble production.

Okay, so I'm going over to Adam's to hang and talk about Othello auditions, so for now I'll say...

Hanging up now...

Final thoughts

Well, Uncommon Good has been put to bed. We had a good run and I believe we did the play justice (ouch, sorry about the pun!) Each actor did his/her part. I would work with any of them again.

Many of my theater buddies came to the show, but I wish more had come. I make an effort to see as many shows as I can to support my friends. I feel it's only right that they do the same. We didn't have very big audiences as it was, so more people would have been a bonus. It was an important play and deserved to be seen by as many people as possible.

As far as my own performance, I felt I did the best I could with a tough script. I believe the woman reviewing the show called me "hysterical" because my performance was often over the top. I was directed to do it this way, and I don't think that was a mistake. I needed to run full-out from beginning to end, and it took a lot of energy to do that. I projected as much fire as I could.

It will be fun to move on and do something light. I'm looking forward to Sleeping Beauty and hope I get in. And Shot in the Dark is coming up in the fall, which Mike is directing. I was a little worried about my performance today but he said I did fine. More to come...

My last day with Dami is next Friday. Her mom is making me dinner. I have to get gifts for each of them--I think I might get them all books. Her brother is in kindergarten so he might like a Dr. Seuss book. Getting Suk's book will be hard--she's pretty high-functioning but I'm not sure what her reading level is.

Well, tomorrow is Interval and I want to get up for that, so...

Hanging up now...

One more weekend

Mike didn't think we needed a brush up, but we all thought we could stand to go over lines, so we met at Gone Wired and went through the show. It went pretty well. It's funny to see what people can do with twisted interpretations of certain lines. We were relaxed and ran through the lines as fast as we could.

Review came out in the City Pulse, and they were not kind. They were especially hard on Kendall, but they called me "hysterical" and said I struggled with my accent. I don't mind. It's one person's opinion and it's a hard role. It's not going to change how I do anything.

So this is the last weekend. I feel everyone has put a lot of work in on this one and it'll be kind of nice to see it go--it's been very challenging for me. Looking forward to the next show, if I do get into Sleeping Beauty. If not that, I'll have a break for a while. That would be nice too.

Working with Stephanie tomorrow. I didn't work out today, but I did cardio yesterday. If I can keep working out four times a week, I will be happy. I was pretty good on eating today--cereal and dried apricots for breakfast, string cheese and dried apples for snack, 1/2 tuna salad sandwich for lunch, veggie sandwich and potatoes for dinner. I'm a little hungry now but I'm going to bed so I don't want anything in my tummy.

Later...

Hanging up now...

First weekend down

Well, the first weekend is over. I was VERY nervous opening night. It went pretty smoothly though. The folks came Friday night. The critics were in the audience too, and that made me nervous as well. I felt like my performance was better, though; I always do better when my parents are in the audience. Afterwards we went to Emil's and had appetizers. Saturday Adam, my ex Brian, Stephanie, and her husband Adam came. Saturday night was the first time I really had fun with it. Sunday was my best performance to date. Unfortunately, we only had SIX people in the audience. There are 40+ seats to fill and we have yet to fill them. It makes me sad. We have all put so much work into this show; it would be a shame to have such small audiences. I want everybody to see it.

Shawn and I talked on the phone tonight. It was nice. I really like him. We are meeting for an early dinner in Ann Arbor on the 29th. Then I'm going to Kalamazoo Sunday for Memorial Day. There will be a cookout and I might get a chance to fish with Dad. He found out that DEET scares away the fish so we will not be using conventional bug repellent this year. However, I have found out that citronella repels mosquitoes, so I will be on the lookout for that.

Stephanie gave me a new strength training workout and I did that today. It took me 1/2 hour, which was great. It worked pretty much every body part. Then I went to Meijer and got a lot of healthy food. I'm trying to be better. I will eat Friday and Saturday night with Mom and Dad and at the cast party Friday, but other than that I want to be healthy. I have two weeks to lose five pounds. I don't think I'm going to make it. Oh well. As long as I can hold it at 150, I don't mind.

Going to go back to FB for a minute, have some hummus and carrots, and go to bed.

Hanging up now...

OPENING NIGHT!

Here we go! We had an invited preview audience last night and they seemed to like it. I forgot one VERY IMPORTANT question during the Nelson scene but Derek covered me by combining two monologues into one. Other than that, it went well. All of my monologues were good. I'm more nervous than excited about tonight. The beginning section was a little rough last night and I'm afraid we will have the same problem tonight. But I'm sure we'll get through it.

Good news on the weight loss front--I weighed in yesterday at 150.8. This means I have gotten back down to the weight I was the week before Easter. That's about a pound a week. If I can lose 2 pounds a week for the next three weeks, I will be down to 144 by Memorial Day. My goal is 145. I have one pound to lose for me to win the bet.

Gotta run through the script again, so for now I'll say--

Hanging up now, and wish me break a leg...

Wheee!

We have a show! Tonight's rehearsal was really good. I didn't feel like I was just saying lines. I hadn't gone over my lines for the Nelson scene so I was a little nervous, but it went great. Mike had given me a direction that I thought about all day and had also asked Derek about, and I guess it paid off. I gave Mike what he was looking for. I'm confident with Sheffield. I'm only concerned with the first few pages; we take a little while to get into it. But once we're rolling, we're good. Tomorrow night we have a preview with an invited audience. Then it's a go on Thursday! The folks are coming Friday. I want to go to Emil's afterwards for chicken wings and mozzarella sticks.

Working with Stephanie tomorrow. I haven't worked out enough this week. I did a short walk/run two days ago, a walk yesterday, and nothing today. I just didn't have time. I worked with Dami today and we did good work. I really feel like I am teaching her. She didn't do some of the homework because she thought she couldn't do it, but I led her through it and she discovered that she really could do it. I want her to find it within herself and not give up so easily.

It's late and I have a big day tomorrow, so for now I'll say...

Hanging up now...

A big surprise

Got back from rehearsal a little while ago. I was surprised at how it went for me. I went up in the Ruby scene, which NEVER happens. Then I started to mess up the Stevens scene too. Amazingly, the Nelson scene went really well, line-wise. I was surprised by the turn of events. I was so worried about the Nelson scene, I think I forgot to pay attention to the other scenes too. My monologue was just about me saying lines. Will that be how this show is for me? Me saying lines?

I don't understand why I have the line problems that I do. I get chugging along like a train, knowing each piece, and then one thing happens and I get derailed. Time after time tonight I hit little blocks and had to struggle past them. It needs to come in a constant flow. That's what's happened before, in other shows. This is a very challenging show as far as dialogue goes. There are lots of long, LONG lines and monologues within the dialogue. Everyone is doing well, but we only have three rehearsals left and I feel like I need another two weeks.

Went for a short walk/run today. It took me 25 minutes. I was in a neighborhood that I haven't measured with my car, so I don't know how long it was. Maybe a mile? It takes me 45 min. to walk a mile (about) so maybe this was a mile. Tomorrow is Interval and I plan to go to that. I didn't work out very much this week or last week, but maybe I will get in more workouts this week. I'm meeting with Stephanie on Wednesday again and hopefully I will have lost another pound. And maybe a % point of fat, too?

Gonna check FB and go to bed, so for now I'll say--

Hanging up now...

More good stuff...

I've been going through the script today and I have most of it down. Even the Nelson section is clipping along. I feel like all that hard work is finally paying off. The lines are getting automatic and I'm able to think about how to say them as Sheffield, rather than Sarah. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's rehearsal.

Dining with Shawn today. We are going to Traveler's Club. I think he'll like it--it's sort of a place for hippies. I'm looking forward to learning more about him. He does a lot of work with videos and music and I'm thinking that even if we don't end up dating we can do some work together. I wouldn't mind having some video work to add to my resume.

Speaking of work...auditions for Williamston Theatre are coming up and I'm considering auditioning. The notice doesn't say anything about bringing a headshot, which is good since I don't have a recent one. They ask auditioners to prepare two modern monologues, not to exceed 3 minutes. There is a part for me in one of the plays. I may not have time to prepare but I may get something together. It might be fun at least to try.

If not that, Sleeping Beauty auditions are coming up. The woman who assistant directed Thunderhoof is directing it. There are several good roles. I want to be one of the fairies. She is kind of silly and has a lot of the funny lines. The role of the queen is a good one too. It would be nice to do a fun, laid back show without all the LINES to remember.

I'm really sorry I'm fixated on lines for this show. I want to be working on character development and gelling with my fellow actors. But there are just so many lines. As I've said before, I've been working really hard on the script, and I hope it's worth it.

Well, Shawn and I are meeting at 5 and I want to run the Nelson scene again, so for now I'll say...

Hanging up now...

Good news all around!

Lots of good stuff to report! Last night's rehearsal went well. I still had trouble with the Nelson scene. Derek and I ran through it three times today and I think I will be okay. Other than that, things went great. We did publicity photos and lobby shots. Oralya was there for the first act. I'm glad she got to see it in a better incarnation than last time. My monologue went REALLY well. I was happy with it, and since I'm my toughest critic, I know that means it was good. Mike's note was "good good good." Kendall got this note too. His monologue always pumps me up because it sets the bar high. Oralya said that she thought no one was miscast, and our rehearsal last night bore this out.

Other good news? Weighed in yesterday and I have lost a pound. I'm still not where I was at Easter but I'm getting there. More excitingly, I was 1%-1 1/2 % down on my body fat percentage. Stephanie said my weight was probably closer to 150 than 152 because I had eaten lunch. I still have the goal of weighing 145 by Memorial Day. I've been eating pretty well, not eating all my lunches and dinners. Today I had a veggie sandwich and grilled potatoes for lunch and saved 1/2 the potatoes. For dinner I had Panda Garden and saved part of one of the entrees. I had veggies instead of fried rice or chow mein.

And, drumroll please...I just got off the phone with a Plenty of Fish guy. He is really nice and interesting. He is kind of a hippie which is a lot better than some of the more conservative guys I've met on the site. If his profile picture is accurate, he's VERY attractive. I'll know for sure Saturday because we are going to the Traveler's Club for dinner. He asked and I accepted--I feel comfortable enough with him. Besides, it's a safe, neutral place.

We open in a week! I can't believe it. I have been eating, sleeping, and breathing this show. I'm either working on the script on my own, rehearsing, or dreaming about it. No bad dreams, though. We had the night off which makes me a little nervous. It's nice to have a break, though. We are rehearsing Sunday so that will get us back into it. We have four more rehearsals--Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I'm pretty confident it will all come together. As a matter of fact, I think we will have an AWESOME show.

I wonder if Shawn likes kareoke...? Hope so. I'm going to Buddies tonight and I'm going to go get ready now.

Hanging up now....

Wow

I have NEVER had a rehearsal as bad as the one I had tonight. That is, I have never had so many line problems as I had tonight. We couldn't call for line tonight and it was hard for EVERYONE. But I skipped whole chunks. If I didn't know one part, I would just skip ahead to a part I knew. I totally went up on my final monologue. I switched two sections and then got completely lost. But given all that, I did get reinforcement that I am going in the right direction with the character. Oralya was there tonight and she told me that I brought more to the role than she even intended. As I've said, I really want to do the part justice, as the first Sheffield.

Tomorrow is Interval, and I want to be fresh for that. So for now I'll say...

Hanging up now....